Andy was in spectacular form last night, after an absolute nightmare at Princes of Florence, Andy "I've totally f*cked this up" Hynes produced singly the worst strategic decision any of us have yet to encounter in the realms of board games. The game was Edel. Stein & Reich and Andy had the largest brain fart in history. For those of you who haven;t played this beautiful little game, it involves trading gems for money. Each round each player will have the opportunity of acquiring cash, gems or certificates, each player will be provided with a different potential haul of gems or cash and each must decide which of the prizes to grab, if you are the only player to grab a specific prize you win it outright, if you are one of two players to grab the same prize you are required to barter for its reward and if you are unlucky enough to be one of three or more players seeking a similar reward, you all walk away with NOTHING!
As we entered the final rounds, Andy was lagging and had been dealt a potential gem haul of 2 x Red. Red's are the most valuable gems and highly attractive to all, alas Andy's haul was worthless as there were absolutely no red gems in the supply. There is no way Andy will go for Gems, thought I as I placed my hidden bid down to claim my own gem haul of 3 blue and 1 green. We revealed all, Nick and Julia fought for certs, John grabbed the cash and Andy ......... bid for gems - he bid for the right to get absolutely nothing, feck all, zero, ziltch, nada .... that's not all ..... there's more!
With Andy lagging behind me on the Red Gem race, he was forced to make me an offer from his own gem supply, that would enable him to claim his ZERO red gems ..... Andy thought long and hard about this .... I commented that he really only had to offer me a tiny bribe and I would undoubtedly refuse it, allowing him the opportunity to accept my enforced higher bribe, this was too simple for Andy, he looked at my stack and realised that what he really wanted was three yellow gems, the cogs began turning ..... "what would I have to offer Ian, that would create an increased bid of 3 yellows" ..... "hmmmm I wonder" ... Andy poker stared me, his eyebrow twitched, he reached into his gem supply and tabled a bribe of ......... 2 RED GEMS. Yes folks ... Mr Strategy offered me 2 of the most valuable Gems on the table from his own collection for the right to obtain 0 RED GEMS from the supply.... I quickly accepted and the table quickly collapsed into uncontrollable hysterics ..... The words Plum & Muppet and phrase "What the f*ck were you thinking" were banded around by all, Andy slunked back in his chair and watched as the game ended ....Ian 76, John 61, Nick 59 and Julia & Andy on 49.
Elsewhere - the highly enjoyable and quick For Sale produced the scoring Julia 52, Ian 49, Nick 47, John & Andy 46 and Callum 45.
Hat's off to Pitman for winning the main event PoF - Nick 60, Ian 56, David 47, Andy 44, Julia 42.
Whilst we Poffed, Stuart, John, Michael and Callum - played a game in which the loser scored 5 points and the winner 756 .... now that's some score spread!
I suppose I should also mention that Fairy Tale made an appearance, alarm bells began ringing when Michael suggested a game, I agreed but began to feel uneasy as the "rules" were explained ..... "I remember this" I proclaimed "It Sucks Balls!" ... I sat out from the turgid game of schoolyard fantasy switch and watched as Andy screamed to victorious 42 points compared to David & Julia on 28 and Nick on 26.
It just goes to show, If you show Andy deep strategy and bartering - he hasn't a clue, but ask him to collect pixies and there's noone comes close!